Archive for April, 2012


It seemed like it took an eternity for it to finally arrive but when it did it kind of lived up to expectations. It certainly left the blue half of Manchester celebrating thanks to a first half Vincent Kompany headed goal and left one whiskey-nosed Glaswegian fuming.

The title is all but City’s now given the goal difference and their ability to score goals, which is something United seemed completely devoid of at The Etihad.

Rather than go into it in too much detail, given that we support the red part of Manchester we thought we’d offer some creative headlines that might feature in tomorrows papers:

DE JONG WAIT FOR SILVA-WARE IS OVER

UNITED HAVE KOMPANY AT THE TOP

MANCI-NEED A MIRACLE NOW FERGIE

BLUE MOON RISING

ETIHAD YOUR CHANCE FERGIE

There’s no excusing this one because a 27 point lead culminating in a one point defeat isn’t just an epic comeback, it’s a collapse of gargantuan proportions.

We love the Clippers here, sorry Grizzlies fans and we’re especially fond of Blake Griffin so we thought we’d relive the highs and lows of the game.

If you want to know who to bet on in game two, it would be the team whose confidence isn’t now shattered to pieces. I think you can figure out which team that is.

Floyd says he doesn’t understand Easter because rabbits don’t lay eggs and he’s still looking good, shit talking with fly whips and mansions. He’s such a relatable kind of guy.

Expect more deepness and his team allowing him to score lots of points in a basketball game to look good for the cameras. The undefeated champ has many but there are very few words as usual from Cotto in episode 2 of HBO’s excellent 24/7 series.

It’s a great build up to a good fight but it just makes you wonder how good a Mayweather/Pac-Man 24/7 would be. This will have to do for now.

Blue Versus Red. The Biggest Game In Premier League History

Hurry up 8pm! The Manchester derby used to be a non-event, generally because Citeh aren’t what you’d call Premier League regulars as demonstrated by the fact that Ryan Giggs has played more Premier League games than Manchester City have and they were never challenging for a PL title.

But one Sheikh and an airline later and they are in the thick of the action and getting a nice taste of some squeaky bum time. I’m not sure if that’s what they get up to in the UAE but it’s something they’ll learn to love in time I’m sure.

With only 3 points separating the teams going into the game at the Etihad, both clubs and managers know the winner takes it all here. (The more I write the more I realise how prophetic ABBA were) It’s for this reason I feel that we’re not going to be treated to a dour 0-0 bore draw. Both teams have the players and the mentality for a forward surge and given United’s defence and attack, there will be goals at both ends.

Paddy Power are offering 4/7 on both teams scoring and we’ll take a slice of that. We’re 3 from 3 for tips at the weekend landing a nice 7/1 treble so grab some dollar dollar bills y’all with this one.

Get on-board.

I know what caviar tastes like and I’m a fan, but I imagine it doesn’t taste anywhere near as sweet as the success brought to Peter Moody and co. by the amazing Australian mare Black Caviar.

When it seemed like the great US horse Zenyatta was going to be the mare to complete the perfect record of 20 from 20 last year, she stumbled at the final attempt finishing second to Blame in the Breeder’s Cup Classic.

There was never a doubt at Morphetville that Black Caviar would be trumped and she breezed home to a four length victory sparking scenes akin to Beatlemania, or 1Dmania?? I don’t know what the kids call this strange obsession over a group of boys from England & Ireland but it seemed quite similar.

A trip to Royal Ascot is now on the cards where we’ll get to see her run against some of the best in the Northern Hemisphere and a titanic clash with arguably the greatest horse in the world, Frankel, we  pray is on the cards.

If you’ve seen a Mayweather 24/7 before, then you’ll be fully acquainted with the mannerisms of the most annoying and deluded fighter in existence today.

If you’ve never seen one before, you will be guaranteed a lot of referencing in the third person, shockingly uneducated statements and a face you would just love to do damage to.

Unfortunately for me, you and the other 42 guys  that have stepped into a ring with Mr Mayweather, it’s a face you’ll have serious trouble doing damage to. And that’s what makes Mayweather so aggravating because he’s really that good!

I guess just enjoy the Cotto parts and hope he can knock Floyd out come May 5th.

The Gunners Will Need To Make Full Use Of Their Arsenal To Claim 3 Points Against Stoke

Okay, so Stoke have nothing left to play for. The can’t make Europe, they won’t be relegated and they have the look of a team that have played a domestic and European campaign. So what can Tony Pulis do to motivate them?

I’m certain the opportunity to go undefeated at home against the Top six teams in the league will be more than enough of an incentive.

Sure Arsenal will be gunning for all 3 points to finish as high up the league as possible but they will have their work cut out at the Britannia. These games are always feisty affairs and there is big potential for goals here.

Paddy Power are offering 8/11 on both teams scoring and I’ll have a slice of that action.

Get on-board.

Expect A Balls To The Wall Display From Ulster

It’s Heineken Cup time again this weekend and it’s down to the last 4. Ulster have been pretty impressive and they’ll be facing an Edinburgh team that may just be punching above their weight up to this point.

Injuries picked up against Leinster in last week’s RaboDirectPro12 clash seemed to have put a spanner in the Northern province’s collective works but 8 days of recuperation has paid dividends.

With an inevitable clash against most likely Leinster in the final in May looming, Ulster can pip their Scottish rivals here but I’m going for an accumulator banker inclusion.

Edinburgh will have the belief to win and there hasn’t been a game in this year’s competition that they haven’t scored a try. Paddy Power are offering 1/3 for Edinburgh to score one try or more and this is a banker. Include it with some other selections for a nice ROI.

Also don’t forget Paddy Power’s Money Back Special. If the last score of the match is a penalty in either of the Heineken Cup semi-final matches, Paddy Power will refund all losing try scorer bets on that match.

Get on-board.

Tim Cahill Doing His Best Ashley Young Impression

It’s all getting very business like at both ends of the table in the Premier League and momentum can be a big deciding factor in the outcome of some of the games this weekend.

David Moyes may be the most resourceful manager in the Premiership and Everton are on a roll lately.  That’s not to say they’ll be eaten up any-time soon and it certainly won’t be against Fulham. I hope!

After a fantastic display at Old Trafford in their 4-4 draw, they look good value to turn over the Londoners in the clash at Goodison Park this afternoon.

Paddy Power are offering 17/20 for Everton to take all 3 points and I like the look of that. Nikica Jelavić for the insure-bet first goalscorer at 13/5 is also great value. If he scores first you get 13/5, if he doesn’t score first but scores at any other point in the game you get your stake back.

Get on-board.

There are two events in the history of me listening to rap music that are still deeply embedded in my mind. The two different artists, who have actually now blended into one due to their choice of collaborative conspirators, were contrastingly different at one point.

The first encapsulated my ear-drums in 1993, when I didn’t know what gin & juice was and I couldn’t think of six ways to die, let alone six million. At this point you’ve probably guessed that the somebody in question was to his mother Calvin Broadus but to us Snoop Doggy Dogg.

The second ”rapper” I’m referring to is as vivid in my recollection as the first but for completely contrasting reasons. It was 2008 and admittedly and thankfully I was late to this guy’s party. Having waded through a deluge of sub-par and utterly pointless nu-school rappers up to this point, the ghastly and abhorrent Lil Wayne decided to enter my consciousness and he hasn’t left since.

Hey, see cash, money is a army 
I’m walkin’ with Purple Hearts on me 
You’re talkin’ to the sergeant 
Body marked up like the subway in Harlem 
Call ’em Weezy F. Baby 
Please say the baby 
If you don’t see me on the block, I ain’t tryin’a hide 
I blend in with the hood, I’m camouflage 
Bandana tied, so Mami, join my troop 
Now everytime she hear my name, she salute! 

What happened between the years of 1993 and to a further extent, the days of BDP, Big Daddy Kane etc for rap to become acceptable to the masses as something that provides the lightest, most imponderous form of entertainment? Picking an urban pop song( as I now call most rap) with some old old wooden ship and a meaning is about as arduous a task as getting Snoop Dogg to stop appearing in Katy Perry videos or making people sweat.

The appearance of the 2Pac hologram at Coachella this year marks just how regressed the rap scene has become. Minimal beats with no distinction or 4/4 dance type tracks with Trance synths. For all the innovation and entrepreneurism shown by the early black youth of America, their feuding and subsequent killing of their two biggest stars led to a void that has not been filled and an artistic direction that appealed to an even more naive and acceptant middle class white America.

While it seemed Dr Dre had peaked in his Death Row years, he unearthed a new gem upon which to bestow, what were for the most part, incredible music productions. This was of course Eminem and while his lyrical dexterity for his first two albums were near flawless, as a rapper he is now a complete non-entity yet never more popular. I think the last thing I heard him say in a song was:

”But you lied again, now you get to watch her leave out the window. I guess that’s why they call it ”window pane”

Really Marshall??

It would appear that people don’t want to think about content. The buying/illegally downloading public don’t want to hear it and the performers don’t want to write it. A classic example being pretty much anything Nicki Minaj has ever written since the inception of her career with the exception of her verse on Kanye West’s ”Monster”. If someone has a justifiable and substantiated argument as to how this qualifies as music I’m willing to listen to what you have to say. But it better be good.

If you look at the views on the above track you will see it has 19 million plus. It’s staggering when you listen to some of the actual lyrics:

I spit like crack, like I’m in that trap so if you need a hit then I’m with the bat 

I can write that. My mother could write that. Even Shooter McGavin came up with better than that.

On the other hand, the greatest ever rap duo Gangstarr, have a track called Battle with a beat that puts 4 bars of  Minaj to shame and has lyrics that don’t depend upon on a shambolic appearance from 2 Chainz(one would have been enough thanks) or the listing of various American geographic locations.

Keith Elam aka Guru, was the vocal and lyrical half of Gangstarr. His sad passing in April 2010 went largely un-noticed except for the hardcore or nostalgic fan. When I said to someone recently that I love Gangstarr he said:

I’m not really into NWA and all that kind of gangster stuff

That’s the sad reality of where talent, conviction and a determination not to sell out will get you.

There are so many more artists that deserve a mention here that won’t get it because the post would be longer than a queue for tickets to a Drake concert. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that joke here. Quite the claim:

Last name ever, first name greatest
Like a sprained ankle boy I ain’t nothing to play with
Started off local but thanks to all the haters

So rather than go through them all just listen back to some Wu-Tang, Gangstarr, Rakim, Lord Finesse, Mos Def and all the others before, in or around them.

It sure beats listening to ”Beez In The Trap”, I can guarantee that.